


No Dreams of Tenderness

by orphan_account



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Gen, rated teen for one expletive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-23
Updated: 2012-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 16:59:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for <a href="http://cabinpres-fic.dreamwidth.org/6034.html?thread=9213842#cmt9213842">this prompt</a>. <i>Douglas is not a morning person. Unfortunately, the other MJN members are.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	No Dreams of Tenderness

The most official job that Arthur Shappey has probably ever had is being the man who wakes up First Officer Douglas Richardson.

Arthur has developed an elaborate strategy of sorts, although he sometimes just improvises. Carolyn and Martin both agree that it is ingenious, maybe even inspired. They also make sure they have put at least one wall between themselves and Douglas. 

Among many things, Arthur’s strategy involves jumping up and down on the bed, squirt guns filled with ice cold water, forced rearrangements of the bed sheets, and also his classic maneuver, singing opera extremely badly and extremely loudly. It is usually at this point that Douglas shoots out of bed with a string of profanities and shuts himself in the bathroom.

Martin is in awe and slightly terrified by how Arthur has managed to find out that a couple of verses of badly sun opera will get Douglas Richardson to do anything.

This used to be only at times when they were staying in hotels, and Arthur had Martin to let him into Douglas’s room. But there was this one strange day when Douglas had a slight cold and lost a bet with Carolyn at who could list the most Egyptian deities. 

In return, he had to give Arthur a spare key to his house. Arthur uses it every time they have an early morning job.

Martin loves teasing Douglas about it. It’s literally the only thing he can tease him about anymore. Also, Douglas is significantly less coherent in the morning, so it’s less likely that he’ll come up with an eloquent retaliation against Martin like he usually does.

When Carolyn had to shoot the promo for MJN Air, she had to buy a new video camera. One day, it catches her eye after she gets off the phone with a client and she has a brilliant idea. She calls Arthur in and tells him that he has another chance at making an important film for MJN Air. Arthur is so excited he almost forgets to listen to Carolyn when she tries to tell him what he’ll be filming.

The Cleveland job starts like any other job. The night before, Douglas, as usual, can’t seem to sleep, even though he has to be at the airfield at seven in the morning. He watches telly until he feels sleepy, trying not to think about how he would be spending time with Helena right now, if he was still married.

In the end, he doesn’t get off to sleep until midnight.

He had been expecting Arthur, but he wasn’t expecting him to have a camera glued to his eyeball. Arthur yanks open the blinds of his window, letting in the severe morning light, which is what first wakes him up. Then the singing starts, a twisted, horrible rendition of a Berlioz opera. He tries to burrow his head under his pillow, vaguely hoping to run out of oxygen and slip into sweet, _quiet_ unconsciousness. 

He also feels murderous inclinations towards one Hercules Shipwright, for buying Carolyn a CD of opera when she continuously refused to go see a show with him.

After a while, the singing stops. Douglas dares to hope it was all a dream. Then the singing starts again abruptly from his right. Douglas lifts his head to find the camera nearly shoved in his face.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Douglas yells, tossing off the bed sheets and going into the bathroom, making sure to slam the door appropriately behind him.

When he gets to the airfield, Martin and Carolyn are predictably laughing themselves silly over the tiny camera screen. And apparently news travels fast, because he was almost certain a couple engineers had hidden smiles on his way in.

“All right, you’ve had your fun, put it away,” Douglas says to Carolyn who shuts off the camera, smiling like a very happy shark.

“It’s even better than Arthur’s stories of it,” Martin says, his face red from laughter. Martin’s is one face that doesn’t need an excuse to turn red. In his particularly irritated early morning mood, Douglas notes unkindly that it is probably more often flushed than not.

“Where is the moviemaker of the hour anyway?” Douglas asks, careful to keep his voice neutral. He plans to have a very long and interesting conversation with Arthur.

Carolyn fixes him with a look that told him she knows exactly why he wants to know Arthur’s whereabouts. “He’s hoovering the plane,” she says. “Oh, and Douglas, the next time you use that kind of language in front of my son, _you_ will be the one hoovering the plane.”

Douglas raises his eyebrows. “Carolyn, your son is almost _thirty_.”

“That may be so, but he’s not the one who wears tiger print pyjama bottoms to bed,” Carolyn quips. Behind her, Martin snickers as he fills out some paperwork.

“That was a present from my daughter!” Douglas protests, but he snaps his mouth shut and makes himself smile, thinking in a vaguely sinister manner of all the ways he can extract revenge. 

In the end, he spends the whole trip to Cleveland silently scheming, and he is already feeling satisfied by the scared looks he sees Carolyn and Martin exchanging when they think he isn’t looking. It’s been a while since he’s come up with an elaborate revenge plot. He wonders if he should drop some hints to some of the grounds crew at Fitton airfield just so that the rumors will spread, but he supposes that would just be too cruel.

It also helps that, while secretly watching the video, he notices how very well-sculpted his back looks.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Cassandre's aria in Les Troyens. 
> 
> Find me on [my tumblr](http://travellinglemon.tumblr.com).


End file.
